How Domestic Violence Effects Children
Witnessing or overhearing episodes of violence between people they love can effect young children as much as if they were the victims of the violence. Children living in the home of an abuser are at much greater risk of being abused or neglected than children not living in an abusive home. Children in homes where domestic violence occurs may experience cognitive or language problems, developmental delays, stress-related physical ailments (such as headaches, ulcers, and rashes), and hearing and speech problems. Children often experience feeling responsible for the abuse, an extreme fear of abandonment, and constant anxiety. A child’s response to repeated domestic violence depends on a number of factors including their age, gender, personality and family role. Some short-term as well as long-term effects of exposure to domestic violence include:
- Moderate to severe depression
- Experiencing sleeping difficulties, such as nightmares or inability to go to sleep
- Regression to an earlier stage of development, such as thumb sucking and bedwetting
- Becoming increasingly anxious or fearful
- Displaying aggressive or destructive behavior
- Withdrawal from people and events
- Low self-esteem
- Inability to concentrate at school
- Speech and hearing difficulties
- Developmental delays
- Poor school attendance
- Delinquency
- Substance abuse
- Dropping out of school
- Difficulties in establishing healthy relationships
- Becoming an abuser
Don’t forget that your children, no matter how small, will have been affected by the abuse. This does not mean that you are a bad parent, in just means that they will need help dealing with their anger at you, the abuser, and the situation. Do not think your kids didn’t realize what was going on - children tend to hear and see a lot more than we think they do.
Talk to your children, let them know that their anger is acceptable and justified, and help them deal with it as well as the separation from that person. Remember that no matter what that person did to you, the chances are good that your child still loves the abuser dearly and is battling with feelings of guilt and betrayal because they do not want to hurt you.