Protect Yourself at Home
- Stay in rooms that have an exit and no weapons or sharp objects (such as knives) if you feel you are in any danger.
- Keep a cell phone with you at all times or hide one in an accessible, safe spot. You can call the Portland Women’s Crisis line (503-235-5333 local/888-235-5333 toll free) to find information on how to get a free 911 phone. Consider purchasing a prepaid cell phone without your abuser’s knowledge. It is easy to install general tracking devices on cell phones, even if the abuser has had limited access to it. If you think you are being tracked, there is a good chance that you are.
- Keep a bag hidden with money, extra car and house keys, essential medications, important papers including emergency numbers, ID, medical card, court papers, birth certificates, child immunization records, school records, divorce papers… and a spare set of clothing.
- Change your bank and credit card accounts, and your phone numbers. If you are living with the abuser consider opening a bank account and PO Box for a mailing address so the abuser will have no knowledge or access to this resource.
- Take pictures of all bruises or injuries, keep records of hospital/doctor visits due to domestic violence related injuries, and keep all records of emergency domestic violence related calls made to the police including dates, officers’ names and badge numbers. Keep this information hidden in a safe place such as a safety deposit box or with a friend.
- Keep copies or the originals of your important papers and keys in a separate safe location, in case the other set is found by the abuser. If your abuser has moved out, change the locks, get locks on the windows, and consider adding a security system.
- Keep records of all unwanted contact the abuser has had with you including text messages, e-mails, and attempts to contact you through friends, relatives or associates.
- Take a self-defense class. The Portland Police offer Women’s Strength. You can find out more information by calling (503) 823-0260 or visit their website at: http://www.portlandonline.com/police/index.cfm?c=35911.
- Make plans with a neighbor to keep an eye out for you and ask them to call 911 if the abuser should return. Arrange a signal such as putting a plant on the front porch or flashing the porch lights that will alert the neighbors to call the police.
- Have friends and/or family drive by your house to check for signs of the abuser’s return. Agree on a code word that you can use when talking on the phone to friends or family that will alert them to call the police. Plan an escape route out of your home and teach the route to your children, including where to meet and who is safe to go to for help.
- Use a computer that your abuser has no access to if you are searching for domestic violence support or resources, employment, banking or other personal matters. It is almost impossible to remove all traces of personal information from you computer.
- To keep your residential address a secret consider participating in the Address Confidentiality Program (ACP). The ACP provides a cost free mail forwarding service for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking. You can access this service through a certified domestic or sexual assault advocate. For more information contact the Yolanda House Crisis Line or go to: http://www.doj.state.or.us/crimev/confidentiality.shtml
Protect Yourself Away From Home
- Mix up your routine, shop at different stores, bank at a different location.
- Consider taking time off of work, transfer locations, or find a new job. Oregon law provides unemployment benefits to certain victims of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking if they are forced to leave their job to protect their or their children’s safety. Call the Public Benefits Hotline (1-800-520-5292) or a local Legal Aid Service office for information.
- Change cars if possible. Cars are very easy to set up with tracking devices. Some abusers are so good at hiding them that a seasoned professional would have a hard time finding them.
- Change your usual bus route.
- Talk to your child’s school and/or daycare. Make sure they agree not to give your personal information out and tell them not to release your children to anyone but those whom you approve of.
- Keep a 911 phone with you at all times.
- Give a picture of the abuser to security or friends at work and/or other regular places you frequent, so they can alert you if he comes or call the police if you have a restraining or stalking order.
- Whenever possible have someone walk with you when going to or from work, court appointments, picking up kids, etc.
- Get a restraining or stalking order and keep it with you at all times. Make copies of the restraining order to keep handy in case you lose the original. Report all violations.
- Remember the most dangerous time for a survivor is after she has left her abuser. Do not fall for traps to get you alone, including claims that the abuser is ill or will kill himself if you do not talk to him. Do not give any personal information to anyone who is sympathetic to the abuser or wishes you would remain in the relationship.